One Two Many
Script First Draft.
Scene 1.
An unknown character is seen making their way into the toilet. They enter a cubicle and smile, suggestively as they place themselves on the toilet seat. The title is then seen on the back of the door.
(Shots of club toilet)
A quite stocky man (Rod) then drunkenly enters, quite obviously in need of the toilet, and places himself above the urinal. The second character (Fish) then enters shortly afterwards, equally as drunk and places himself beside the other man.
(Music from the club is beating in the background)
Fish drunkenly begins to turn towards the fellow clubbers private area.
Rod: Hold on mate! What do you think you’re playing at… mate!
Fish snaps round to realise what he was doing and attempts to explain himself
Fish: Ah… shit sorry… had a few… too much to drink… innit.
Rod: Yeah fair enough.
(They both begin to urinate)
Fish: Yep… err… anyway how’s your night been then?
Rod: (Loudly) YEAH MATE (quieter) not very well really… umm… my girlfriends out no tonight… no mischief for me! Oh, and my little sister’s made an appearance too… which like… isn’t fun for me… it’s well annoying. Umm… how’s your night been… then?
Fish attempts to slyly imitate Rod’s response.
Fish: (Loudly) YEAH MATE (quieter) it’s been quite a good ‘un to be honest. Like, I was at the bar earlier and this girl came over and bought ME a drink, ha! It was like… well confusing… but like… well good.
Rod: Ha, result mate! That’s how it should be I reckon. What drink she get you?
Fish thinks: Vodka lemonade
Fish: …A pint of Fosters.
Rod: Yeah, standard.
They both nod.
Fish thinks: How am I still pissing?
Fish: Oh, best thing as well… after she bought me this drink she was all over me mate, gave me her number (burp) called Victoria or something… well fit.
Rod’s face begins to screw as though trying to figure something out.
Both their urinations begin to stutter.
Fish: Yeah, well tight blue dress on.
Rod’s face still continues to screw.
Fish: Nice ass on her as well.
Rod: Hold –
Fish: Trust me mate she’s a banger.
Rod: It’s my little sister! You must be mad mate!
Fish thinks: Shit.
It now becomes a race of who can finish their urinations first. Fish’s face turns to desperation as he tries to empty his bladder as rapidly as possible. Rod attempts to inflict pain upon Fish without the ability to use any body part other than his shoulder.
Fish finishes first and zips up as quickly as possible with the intention to flee, however Rod finishes swiftly afterwards and grabs him, brutally pulling him to the floor and initiating an onslaught of violence.
Rod then moves towards the sink to wash his blood stained hands. At that moment, a toilet is heard flushing and out steps the previously passed out character.
Toilet Man: Wow, looks like you’ve had a rough night.
Rod: Yeah mate tell me about it… were you in there that whole time?!
Toilet Man: Ummmm… yeah I suppose.
Rod: Well you’re having a better night than me.
Toiler Man: Yeah, actually comes to think of it I am… I got with the fittest girl earlier… had a sexy little blue dress on… names Victoria I think.
